Kathy Update

I had my world shaken up a little last night. I got a phone call after I had gone to bed from my Father. He sounded scared and panicky like someone who just needs a friend to listen. This was a first for me, I listened to my father's situation and the drama from his life and tried to be as comforting as possible. But I was in shock mostly due to the fact of my overwhelming compassion for this man. All of the things he never gave me, all of the times he was never there for me and here I am crying for him. The thing that struck the worst in my heart was that it seemed like he really had nobody else. He has no friends, he lost his wife, and by his own damn fault doesn't talk to my brother as much as he should.

So, I might be called to take the 10 hour drive down to Alabama and try to help my father who is unable to get around himself and needs to find an apartment. I want to do what God would have me do, not out of pity, not out of feeling obligated, but out of love, undeserved love, but nonetheless love.

I find it so utterly confusing that someone who has affected my life in such a negative way and that done an awful job in loving me has my unconditional love yet I find it so hard to learn how to love others who have not hurt me. I know that God is the source of my love and my roommate said something last night that felt very redeeming, she said that I am unable to love on my own and that God will continue to enable me to love and that I'm really not crazy. God gives me enough love to give to those that he would have me love. I guess right now my dad needs a lot of love.

Please pray for me and my family this week and if I am to go to Alabama that I would be able to trust God with my own life.

Thanks friends.