I have seen his face,

I believe God is calling me to something big. Sure I'm scared, I have little faith in myself, my insecurities and issues are still popping up. But! It's not by my power but by his. That and that alone is why I'm choosing and willing to follow his leading.

God keeps revealing these little glimmers to me of my vision. Each time it happens, I beleive more and more that this is him, it's not just some bogus idea I've come up with. Sure I'm human and an imperfect vessel and can misconstrue things that God may be telling me but that is where accountablility and community come in.

I am experiencing what it means to be built up by community right now. It is the most amazing thing. God has equipped these people with words of truth and encouragement and wisdom. I pray that I could do the same for the community around me. I pray that I would have the discernment to back off and God speak through rather that giving my opinions and faulty nature.

This amazing word was given to me last night...

"You where walking down a street, it started to rain, your hair got flat, you could either feel one of two ways about it; one be sad and down that it's raining, or be excited and joyful and look for puddles to splash in. Then you came over a hill to a place where the weather was clear and the sun was shining and a man was standing there and says,"I've been waiting for you." And you say to him,"I had to walk through the rain for a little bit first."

This word means so much too me, so many interpretations but it speaks right to my heart. I feel that it was a promise for hope. I'm really excited to see what else God has in store for me.

Key Verse:Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (NIV)

I came across an article today that my friend wrote about me and my decorating a couple of months ago. I got such a kick out of it I wanted to share it with you, if you haven't already read it. My favorite line:

"But the undaunted Freeman decorates with abandon."

article

These are Stargazer Lillies. They are my favorite flower. I read somewhere that lillies imply purity of heart. What stands out to me is that they seem like an exotic flower and it is difficult for me to grasp "purity" and "exotic" going together. My name means "pure". Purity is something that has been very huge on my heart my entire life. I've messed up numerous times and lost my purity at times but God has restored it to me. He has made me pure at heart again. My heart is to keep that intact. It is a gift. A gift I don't deserve.

The negetive thing about these flowers is that they are so fragile, they can wither up so quickly, they fade and lose their beauty, but I believe the purity they stand for can stay intact. That is just a little tid bit of hope and joy and freedom that God has graciously given to me. I hope it gives hope to anyone else who would need it.

Read Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot

Bible Verse of the Day:

Psalms 37:3-4 says, "Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart." (NJK)

Desires of the Heart

I did something this week that would normally have torn me up and been destructive in my life, but God was gentle and compassionate with me. I feel renewed and humbled. No matter how many times I step on God's toes and fall he continues to have grace for me.

Now this is not to say, woo! I can do whatever I want because because God will still love me, no that's not at all what I'm saying in stead it has humbled me and strengthened my desire to love God first and foremost because he loves me no matter what. I could never get the kind of love that he gives me from my (earthly) father, a man, or a friend. He is my lover, my savior, and friend.

One of the desires of my heart is to have a companion, someone to share my life with, to work towards the same goal, to serve the same God. I have so much fear that gets in the way, what if I put this person before God, what if I don't honor God in every part of this relationship, ect...
And even with all of these what if's, God still chooses to bless me and hold me and tell me that he loves me.

I'm going to quote a friend of mine, he wrote: God wants you to know that it's okay to succeed. That you are worthy, you are good enough, you are able. That you deserve happiness. Freedom. Wholeness. God invites you to spend some time dreaming and thinking about what you want your life to be like, using His Will as a flashlight. And He wants to help you get there.

Word on the street

That to me is so encouraging to know that God is rooting for us to succeed, yes he still loves us when we fail but it also grieves him and he rejoices when we succeed in the desires of our heart. I am currently pursuing one of mine and I worry about the lies that often at times seep in and cause me to sabotage the good gifts that God has placed in my life.

Some great verses to go along with my previous post.

Galatians 6:9, "So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit." (The Message)

Isaiah 40:30-31, "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (NIV)

Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (NIV)

Psalm 27:14, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (NIV)

Judges 6:12, "When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, "The Lord is with you, mighty warrior." (NIV)

Love...Hmmm...

I've heard quite a few women recently tell me that the they are passionate about healthy relationship's. Those woman all had one thing in common, they were already married.

I was pondering over this fact the other day and asked the question, is this only something accessible after I'm married? The answer is No.

My ministry is about pursuing wholeness and freedom in relationships, isn't that the same thing? I realize everytime the subject comes up, I get out my soap box.

So, I would love to start a discussion on this topic. Please feel free to add any glimmers of wisdom or questions or concerns you have. After all, this is something I'm very,very passionate about.