Update

Sorry to my viewers for being absentee. I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

In other news: Alex and I started couple counseling (haven't started pre-marital yet), it has been uber intense. Unleashing a lot of bottled up emotion I didn't even know was there, which I guess is the point of going to counseling. Anyway, I'm working two jobs which are taking up a lot of my time, trying to spend time with my fiancee, my roommate, and my close friends, all the while trying to keep my sanity and life in balance.

My roommate and I are excited that we found a new apartment. It's located in Rogers Park very near quite a few friends, which will be great to promote more building of community. It's also walking distance to Alex's house;).

I enjoyed a fabulous girls night out on Saturday with my some of my bridesmaids. It was much needed and I swear chocolate fondue is therapeutic. I had a lovely visit with a dear friend who came to visit from Georgia on Sunday and got back to the grind on Monday. I'm trying my hardest to find balance and have some time management success. It's very hard when your trying to afford living out here.

Wedding planning is fun, I think Alex and I have found a good balance of this week we'll research flowers and next week we'll take the week off from talking about wedding planning. I finally got him to tell me where we are going for our honeymoon and I'm overjoyed. I'm not big on surprises and if anyone knows me they know how picky I am about what clothes I bring where. We aren't going to disclose to anyone else where we are going we want to make it fun and maybe have a little competition on our website. We're still working out all the details. Speaking of which, if you haven't had a chance to visit our website it's www.AlexandKathy.com. It's a place for people to view what's going on with our wedding plans, the where, the when, the why. You can see pictures and our online journal, our registries are listed and it also let's you RSVP on our site. All I have to say, marrying a web site designer for the win!

So many people have advised us to make sure we have fun. This is actually a harder task than it seems. We plan on going to Navy Pier this weekend but when your finances are tight (and your fiancee doesn't have a job) it's hard to get motivated to have fun.

We plan on flying out to California in September to visit our families and have some fun so that'll be good. I'm so excited about planning parties and just having excuses to get people together. It's great. I miss being with big groups of people who know how to have a good time. I'm tired of playing this all work no play role. I'm ready for some fun loving Kathy time!

Prepare yourselves!

Seamstress?

Does anyone know of any skilled seamstress who would be willing to make a dress on a humble budget?

:)

Being like minded

Imitating Christ's Humility

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like mided, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." - Philippians 2:1-11

So to me this verse is very hard. I struggle very heavily with people pleasing. It has reached a significant all time high as of recent. On one hand you can say, people pleasing is making sure everyone else is happy so it's a very selfless act, right? Wrong. It has very selfish motives. In my needs to be more in community, which I still am really not very sure how to do, I've somehow switched on my people pleasing button without being aware. Motives behind, If I can please everyone then I will win them then I will be in community, in the midst making my spiritual life and my real relationships suffer as well as losing my true self.

The hardest part, career wise, I am now doing what I love. My finances are doing better and I'm seeing fruit in my trusting in that area. So why does having gratitude to God make me feel farther from him. Do I need to constantly be struggling to be close to him? I don't want to not need him anymore because he's answered my hearts cry. Not saying that I don't need him anymore but it does seem like all the areas that I needed his help in most where it felt like he was not even hearing my cries he's come through in full and blessed me way beyond what I asked for. Am I just used to always needing in that certain way and now that I need him in a different way, I don't know how to ask.

I need to be selfless in my community, not really sure what that looks like. The only things I can think of are trying to people please and then when it doesn't work out I get mad and then since I'm mad that I'm people pleasing I start rebelling. It's a vicious cycle.

So my questions is, Are we being like-minded as a community with Christ, and if some of us are struggling how is a loving, selfless way to help one another out?

I'm engaged!

So, it's official! I'm engaged! Alex proposed tonight on our five monthiversary!

He took me to the outback for dinner and then we went to the botanical gardens where in a secluded garden of our own he sang to me and then got down on one knee.

He said, "I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to go to sleep looking at you, wake up next to you, and live my life with you. Will you marry me?"

I of course said yes!;)