In most dating relationships there is a natural progression of physical intimacy. If no barriers are put into place, this progression generally leads to sexual intercourse. Most experts agree that once couples move beyond hugging and light kissing, hormones encourage further physical contact.
So here is the natural progression:
- No Physical Involvement
- Holding Hands
- Kissing
- French Kissing
- Light Petting 'hands on top of clothes'
- Moderate Petting 'hands under clothes'
- Heavy Petting 'clothing removed'
- Intercourse
So here are some crucial attitudes and actions I'll need to take;
- Responsibility
It is important to remember that it is my responsibility to stay pure, not the responsibility of someone else.
- Accountability
Eccl 4:9; Heb 3:13. Here are some great questions to answer and be asked;
-When was your last date (time alone)?
-Did anything happen that was inappropriate(Answer with details)?
-Did anything happen that was risky or stupid(Alone at night, etc.)?
-What guidelines are you seeking to hold?
-Have you violated those guidelines?
-Is there anything you need to do right now to safeguard your purity in your relationship?
-Why do you want to protect your purity?
- Convictions
As much as wanting a pure relationship is a desirable end, it's not really enough. If the actions of the person are not backed by solid Biblical convictions, they are not as strong as you might think.
- Bottom Line:
The clear warning of Scripture is to avoid any physical involvement with the opposite sex that excites desires which cannot be legitimately fulfilled. So how far is too far?
An argument can be made that holding hands and a light hug or kiss for most (but not for all individuals) is not 'crossing the line'.
So, here is our bottom line, no petting of any standard. If we cross that bottom line, there will be a consequence. I will blog it and go to my overseers and accountability team.
- Other boundaries;
-Alone together in our apartments past 1am or overnight
-Traveling together where there's an overnight stay. One room in a hotel maybe cheaper, but not at the expense of our purity.
-Alone in our rooms together -keep door open
If we come up with anymore, I will post them. But for now. Here it is. Me being transparent.
