Desires of the Heart

I did something this week that would normally have torn me up and been destructive in my life, but God was gentle and compassionate with me. I feel renewed and humbled. No matter how many times I step on God's toes and fall he continues to have grace for me.

Now this is not to say, woo! I can do whatever I want because because God will still love me, no that's not at all what I'm saying in stead it has humbled me and strengthened my desire to love God first and foremost because he loves me no matter what. I could never get the kind of love that he gives me from my (earthly) father, a man, or a friend. He is my lover, my savior, and friend.

One of the desires of my heart is to have a companion, someone to share my life with, to work towards the same goal, to serve the same God. I have so much fear that gets in the way, what if I put this person before God, what if I don't honor God in every part of this relationship, ect...
And even with all of these what if's, God still chooses to bless me and hold me and tell me that he loves me.

I'm going to quote a friend of mine, he wrote: God wants you to know that it's okay to succeed. That you are worthy, you are good enough, you are able. That you deserve happiness. Freedom. Wholeness. God invites you to spend some time dreaming and thinking about what you want your life to be like, using His Will as a flashlight. And He wants to help you get there.

Word on the street

That to me is so encouraging to know that God is rooting for us to succeed, yes he still loves us when we fail but it also grieves him and he rejoices when we succeed in the desires of our heart. I am currently pursuing one of mine and I worry about the lies that often at times seep in and cause me to sabotage the good gifts that God has placed in my life.