Tuesday, May 19, 2009

If I was a rich girl...

"Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become so poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God." -Proverbs 30:7-9

I have a little trouble with this verse, especially when thinking of friends and family who seem to have been financially struggling for a while. "only my daily bread"? What about a house to live in, and money to pay the bills. Now obviously I don't know their hearts, I don't know or understand God's plan but I want so badly to see the people I love taken care of.

And what about "become so poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of God." What about when people become so poor they lose faith that he will provide because they've been in their current situation for so long, isn't that dishonoring God? Is it just God teaching them trust? Is he teaching them perseverance, patience? And how do you constantly encourage someone in this position? They don't want to hear the same thing over and over.

Take my mom for example, from the moment we left my dad(I was 3), we have struggled. I watched as my mom walked to work at burger king and then to radio shack to provide for us kids. I witnessed the church both ridicule and love on us for being in our situation. But I also witnessed my mom cling to Jesus the entire time. When I was a teenager and wanted money for new clothes or to go to the movies with friends or to even go to Carl's Jr after youth group I resented her for not having the money to give to me. I started to even blame her prayer life, she was always praying that Jesus would make her more like him. As I read my bible, I thought wait! Jesus didn't even have a house, he had no income, he had to totally rely on God providing.

This was just the start of my lesson. I moved to Chicago with $300 in my bank account and no job waiting for me but a school bill ready to start up. Once I found a church, my friends would show up on my doorstep either to take me grocery shopping or bring me some groceries when I thought things were looking desolate. I ended up having a roommate with a good full time job who was kind when my waitressing was slow and I didn't have enough for rent. Every time I sat down with my bills and how much money I had coming I never had enough. One day, a friend of mine bluntly asked me, "Are you tithing?". I thought, God understands that I don't have enough to tithe, WRONG!

By the time I got married and moved back to Cali I thought, ok I have this trust thing down, I have been poor my entire life and God has proven to me time and time again that he will provide. But even now when we have a big tax bill or something it's easy to slip back in and be discouraged. I'm the kind of person who wants everyone to be happy and taken care of, but that is also why I'm not God. If hadn't of gone through all that I would not be the person I am today.

I would love to hear any thoughts you guys have on this verse.:)

1 comment:

Jen said...

ok first of all... I don't know if you meant it, but I like the "Fiddler on the Roof" reference in your title. I can see Topol right now with his waving hands as he danced to his song of wishing for wealth hehe

But on a more serious note, I really love this verse. It may be a weird verse to love, but I relate to it a lot in the same way that you do. It was actually this verse that lead me to quit school because I realized I was not in school because I truly felt like God wanted me to have a degree, but because I felt like I needed to have a plan... I didn't trust God for my daily bread. I thought I needed to have a good job and a degree because I didn't want to have to struggle the way my mom did because she was also a single mom. But then I thought "When did we ever go hungry? When did we ever not have clothing or shelter?" Never... God always provided... and sometimes in miraculous ways too!

I have a lot more to say but I think this comment may be too long already! LOL

But read my blog from a few months ago (http://jensaccount.blogspot.com/2008/11/blessed-are-poor-no-really.html) for an experience I had where God really stretched my faith, once again, to trust him with finances. God is good! :)