So...

Previously I had thought, I only want to use this blog for profound thoughts or encouraging words and things of that sort, but I'm realizing how much I'm not sharing that I would like to share, soley to get it out.

So, this is me, I'm an assistant in a staffing company up for a promotion to a recruiter. It makes me nervous because I'm aware of all of my inadequacies. But at the same time I love a challenge and change is my middle name (it's actually Virginia...same difference). I am part of a ministry called Living Waters, God has used this ministry in my life for the past two years to restore me, bring me freedom, and hope. I am dating a wonderful man named Alex, it's long distance but it seems to work pretty well for both of us. He is amazing and treats me with respect and honor. I care for him alot.

My family is still 2000 miles away and it's hard being away from them. I thrive off of building and maintaning deep relationships so it's hard when distance comes in the way of that with people that I care so deeply about. Especially my brother. I love my brother very much and I wish there were a way for us to have a closer relationship. God has blessed me with tons of spiritual brothers who have completley blessed me and my femeninity, but nonetheless, my brother has been there from day one, as impossible as it seems I still remember the pink elephant he gave me when I was born. In a sense you can say the pink elephant is still in the room with us, if you catch my drift. I feel I am always seeking his approval and his affirmation. I think seperating us was a good way for God to help me see that it was God's approval I should be seeking not my brother's or my father's approval.

I feel a change in the air, it's a mixture of uncertainty, hope, faith, and excitement. I am ready for change. As scary as it may be, I welcome it. I am thankful for all of the change that this new year has brought thusfar. Alex, my new position, growth in area's that are difficult, and who know's what's to come, but I am excited and ready.

'If you lead me Lord, I will follow, If you heal me Lord, I will go.'