It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender
[Chorus]
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...
[Chorus]
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out
by Santus Real
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Adoption
I realized I haven't updated my blog in forever so if you don't read my notes on Facebook I'll post some of them here so you can get an idea of what we are doing :).
Since so many people asked for information about the adoption venue we are taking I thought I'd post a note.
Alex and I sought out private adoption agencies last year with little luck. We knew that if money was the only thing standing in our way nothing was standing in our way. God is bigger that $35,000. Soon after our experience our Pastor told us to keep our options open and contact the county. We were a little hesitant because of the horror stories we had heard but we thought, who are we to limit God.
We called the county and found that the first step was to attend a free orientation at the Palmdale civic center. The number to call is 1-888-811-1121, be prepared to take a chunk of time out of your work day, 3 hours to be exact. They give you all the information you need to know and basically hold your hand through the entire thing.
Here are the 6 steps to completing the foster/adopt home family application process.
*Step 1 - Attend orientation
*Step 2 - attend and complete 33 hours of training (MAPP)
*Step 3 - Submit application and orientation certificate
*Step 4 - Call Live Scan (800) 315-4507 for fingerprints
*Step 5 - Home Study (they come to your house and check out you and your family)
*Step 6 - License issued!
You will receive the application and forms to fill in and your certificate at your orientation.
They also give you a check list to make sure your home is child safe and up to par to bring a child into your home. That way you aren't surprised when they come and visit, you'll already know what they are looking for.
The PS-MAPP classes are required. The program is a 33 hour, interactive group format led by a team of 3 facilitators including an experienced resource parent, a trainer from the community, and a children's social worker from DCF. Workshops are available at various community colleges and community based agencies in cities throughout LA county.
The live scan is fingerprinting and background check which will be your ONLY OUT OF POCKET COST! $75 for each adult living in your home.
I know a lot of you, like me have heard your own horror stories about adopting through the county.
Myth: They are only going to give me a special needs child.
Truth: They will only give you a special needs child if you get 2 years of experience as a foster parent first or have some sort of specialized nursing license. It is quite difficult to get a special needs child because...well...they have special needs and if we can't meet them than they wont give them to us. And God bless those whose heart is for children with special needs because they need you and your love.
Myth: I can't afford it.
Truth: Adoption through the county cost nothing aside from the $75 for the fingerprinting which is to the fingerprinting company, not the county. You do not need to make a certain amount of money only enough to provide for your family. You do not have to own your own home, you can rent, lease, apartment, mobile home, ect.
Please, if you have any others questions or concerns let me know, if I didn't learn today in my 3 hours of intensive orientation I will give you a number to call.
For the Caretakers of the children
by Diane Loomans
To the Caretakers of the Children,
Who do the most honorable and challenging work
On the face of the earth.
May you live with compassion,
And teach with great love.
May you love the children as they are,
And inspire them to be even more.
May you see the world through their eyes,
And remain rooted in your own ground.
May you guide the children with direction,
And allow them to find their own way.
May you teach them self-discipline,
And treat them with great respect.
May you show the children your humanness,
And be a model of strength.
May you be present for the children,
And give them freedom to explore.
And may you blossom in your own garden,
As you nurture the seedlings to full bloom.
Since so many people asked for information about the adoption venue we are taking I thought I'd post a note.
Alex and I sought out private adoption agencies last year with little luck. We knew that if money was the only thing standing in our way nothing was standing in our way. God is bigger that $35,000. Soon after our experience our Pastor told us to keep our options open and contact the county. We were a little hesitant because of the horror stories we had heard but we thought, who are we to limit God.
We called the county and found that the first step was to attend a free orientation at the Palmdale civic center. The number to call is 1-888-811-1121, be prepared to take a chunk of time out of your work day, 3 hours to be exact. They give you all the information you need to know and basically hold your hand through the entire thing.
Here are the 6 steps to completing the foster/adopt home family application process.
*Step 1 - Attend orientation
*Step 2 - attend and complete 33 hours of training (MAPP)
*Step 3 - Submit application and orientation certificate
*Step 4 - Call Live Scan (800) 315-4507 for fingerprints
*Step 5 - Home Study (they come to your house and check out you and your family)
*Step 6 - License issued!
You will receive the application and forms to fill in and your certificate at your orientation.
They also give you a check list to make sure your home is child safe and up to par to bring a child into your home. That way you aren't surprised when they come and visit, you'll already know what they are looking for.
The PS-MAPP classes are required. The program is a 33 hour, interactive group format led by a team of 3 facilitators including an experienced resource parent, a trainer from the community, and a children's social worker from DCF. Workshops are available at various community colleges and community based agencies in cities throughout LA county.
The live scan is fingerprinting and background check which will be your ONLY OUT OF POCKET COST! $75 for each adult living in your home.
I know a lot of you, like me have heard your own horror stories about adopting through the county.
Myth: They are only going to give me a special needs child.
Truth: They will only give you a special needs child if you get 2 years of experience as a foster parent first or have some sort of specialized nursing license. It is quite difficult to get a special needs child because...well...they have special needs and if we can't meet them than they wont give them to us. And God bless those whose heart is for children with special needs because they need you and your love.
Myth: I can't afford it.
Truth: Adoption through the county cost nothing aside from the $75 for the fingerprinting which is to the fingerprinting company, not the county. You do not need to make a certain amount of money only enough to provide for your family. You do not have to own your own home, you can rent, lease, apartment, mobile home, ect.
Please, if you have any others questions or concerns let me know, if I didn't learn today in my 3 hours of intensive orientation I will give you a number to call.
For the Caretakers of the children
by Diane Loomans
To the Caretakers of the Children,
Who do the most honorable and challenging work
On the face of the earth.
May you live with compassion,
And teach with great love.
May you love the children as they are,
And inspire them to be even more.
May you see the world through their eyes,
And remain rooted in your own ground.
May you guide the children with direction,
And allow them to find their own way.
May you teach them self-discipline,
And treat them with great respect.
May you show the children your humanness,
And be a model of strength.
May you be present for the children,
And give them freedom to explore.
And may you blossom in your own garden,
As you nurture the seedlings to full bloom.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
A victim of grace Part 2
So now we've come to the realization that we are victim's of grace. We have been blindsided by God's love for us.
So now what are we going to choose to do with that? I have two ideas.
1)We need to switch our way of thinking. We are not victims of evil, we are victims of grace. We need stop focusing on all the things we are lacking or the wrongs that have been done to us but focus on the blessings, the abundance of love, mercy, and of grace. Stand in awe of our creator and what He has done for you.
2)We need to realize that our brothers and sisters are also victims of grace and use that knowledge to fuel unity in the body. Instead of seeing something someone is doing and have a negative opinion or pass judgment on them, or act out of bitterness, jealousy, or hurt we need to remember that they too are victim's of grace.
We need to bestow grace on them just as God bestows his grace on us. We may think they are undeserving but how much more are we undeserving of the grace and love that God bestows on us?
So now what are we going to choose to do with that? I have two ideas.
1)We need to switch our way of thinking. We are not victims of evil, we are victims of grace. We need stop focusing on all the things we are lacking or the wrongs that have been done to us but focus on the blessings, the abundance of love, mercy, and of grace. Stand in awe of our creator and what He has done for you.
2)We need to realize that our brothers and sisters are also victims of grace and use that knowledge to fuel unity in the body. Instead of seeing something someone is doing and have a negative opinion or pass judgment on them, or act out of bitterness, jealousy, or hurt we need to remember that they too are victim's of grace.
We need to bestow grace on them just as God bestows his grace on us. We may think they are undeserving but how much more are we undeserving of the grace and love that God bestows on us?
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I am a victim of grace.
A victim of grace. That's intense. All of us are victims of grace. We don't ask for, we don't see it coming, we certainly don't deserve all of God's love and kindness, but he keeps pouring it out on us.
Instead of being a victim of evil, we need to see God's hand in it all and name ourselves a victim of grace. We need recognize the blessing of the gift of grace that comes so freely to each one of us,
"Dear sons and daughters,
I have it all figured out. Keep trusting me and stay tuned for coming attractions. Don't forget: You too are a victim of my grace.
Love,God."
Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me."
I want to hear your thoughts on this revelation. I'd love it if you wanna share an experience in your life that you knew without a doubt that you are a victim of grace.
Instead of being a victim of evil, we need to see God's hand in it all and name ourselves a victim of grace. We need recognize the blessing of the gift of grace that comes so freely to each one of us,
"Dear sons and daughters,
I have it all figured out. Keep trusting me and stay tuned for coming attractions. Don't forget: You too are a victim of my grace.
Love,God."
Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me."
I want to hear your thoughts on this revelation. I'd love it if you wanna share an experience in your life that you knew without a doubt that you are a victim of grace.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Kathy Update
Ok, where to begin...
Woman's Retreat 4 weeks ago. I had a divine appointment with God. A time and a place where I could surrender my excuses and say YES to his calling on my life. I had every excuse you could think of and I've used them for more than 10 years. Until one workshop titled "And she shall be called QUALIFIED...", I know in my head that I am qualified because Jesus has called me but it is still sinking into my heart.
I made the decision that day that if I was going to say yes to what God's been calling me to than I want to put all of me into it and do it the best I can.
Step #1: Piano lessons (How this is part of God's plan)
I direct the choir at my church and I've had the same great accompanist for the last 2 seasons. This season, 2 weeks before choir starts up I get a call from my accompanist telling me she is too busy to help me out this time around, but she gave me a phone number of someone who might be willing to help. I call lovely Lorraine and after some chatting and giving her the music she says yes! And, she adds, "If you know anyone who would be interested in piano lessons...?" ME!!!ME!!!I'm interested, lol! So, yes. I am taking piano lessons, yay!
Step #2: Laptop?
So, I need to go to school. But I have to go online. Our only computer is being used between the hours of 5am-5pm by this guy who runs the Branning Group making money to support our family...so...I need a way to be online during the day...(prayer request)
Step #3: School?
I have been researching schools whenever I get a good amount of time on the computer, like now when I stay up a little later after everyone's gone to bed to catch up. But I have found one that sounds really perfect and can be done completely online.(more prayer request)
Is this the school God has for me? And if so, is this God's timing? And if so, will I have a laptop to do school on?
Oh and by the way, for those who don't know yet. I am going to school to be a worship leader.:)
I know you don't HAVE to go to school for this position, but like I said, if I'm gonna do it wanna put EVERYTHING into it. Whole heartily. The thing I love about the program I'm looking into is that ya they have a few music theory classes but it's mostly about deepening my relationship with Christ and prophetic worship and communion with Christ and things that are going to make sure my heart is ready.
I am sharing all this because I would love it if you all could be praying for me, this is really for me and my family.
Woman's Retreat 4 weeks ago. I had a divine appointment with God. A time and a place where I could surrender my excuses and say YES to his calling on my life. I had every excuse you could think of and I've used them for more than 10 years. Until one workshop titled "And she shall be called QUALIFIED...", I know in my head that I am qualified because Jesus has called me but it is still sinking into my heart.
I made the decision that day that if I was going to say yes to what God's been calling me to than I want to put all of me into it and do it the best I can.
Step #1: Piano lessons (How this is part of God's plan)
I direct the choir at my church and I've had the same great accompanist for the last 2 seasons. This season, 2 weeks before choir starts up I get a call from my accompanist telling me she is too busy to help me out this time around, but she gave me a phone number of someone who might be willing to help. I call lovely Lorraine and after some chatting and giving her the music she says yes! And, she adds, "If you know anyone who would be interested in piano lessons...?" ME!!!ME!!!I'm interested, lol! So, yes. I am taking piano lessons, yay!
Step #2: Laptop?
So, I need to go to school. But I have to go online. Our only computer is being used between the hours of 5am-5pm by this guy who runs the Branning Group making money to support our family...so...I need a way to be online during the day...(prayer request)
Step #3: School?
I have been researching schools whenever I get a good amount of time on the computer, like now when I stay up a little later after everyone's gone to bed to catch up. But I have found one that sounds really perfect and can be done completely online.(more prayer request)
Is this the school God has for me? And if so, is this God's timing? And if so, will I have a laptop to do school on?
Oh and by the way, for those who don't know yet. I am going to school to be a worship leader.:)
I know you don't HAVE to go to school for this position, but like I said, if I'm gonna do it wanna put EVERYTHING into it. Whole heartily. The thing I love about the program I'm looking into is that ya they have a few music theory classes but it's mostly about deepening my relationship with Christ and prophetic worship and communion with Christ and things that are going to make sure my heart is ready.
I am sharing all this because I would love it if you all could be praying for me, this is really for me and my family.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Am I Captivating?
So I picked up the book "Captivating" which I'm sure most of you have read/heard of. I was in desperate need of a new book and I sort of felt like I was the last one to read this book and it was on sale at Borders for $4! So I started reading it last night so I haven't gotten too far but I love things that have to do with healing embracing the true feminine/masculine. So this book is right up my alley, tonight I started reading it a little bit but the heat and my restless mind prevented me from getting too far, but what I did read struck me. There is a part that talks about how we long for adventure and just being free enough to live that adventure. One thing I really resonated with is that we women tend to take things like movies, books, tv shows, games, or whatever to escape from our life into something "more". But that is not how God intended us to live he created us for the adventure, that is why we have a yearning deep down inside of us. I can't wait to get back to this book but I just wanted to share how happy I am to realize that I can/am living my adventure. Yes I am sure that God has big things in store for The Branning family and even me as an individual, as a woman but I like to look at my life thus far and see it as the adventure it has been.
I have lived, yes there have been times where I have use my escape mechanisms but for the majority of my life, it has been lived and I am so thankful for the experiences I have had to this day to make me the woman I am now and I don't want to stop, I am not content, and I hope that I never will be. We were meant to want more, more than this life has to offer. But while we are here, I want to fully enjoy the beauty and wonder that God has has created and provided for our enjoyment/use. I may live in a town currently that I have trouble finding beauty in but I know God has me here for a reason and I have been seeking since I got here to find beauty to be able to appreciate being here, and while I appreciate the things that come with living here, family, friends, In-n-out...I still get cranky when it gets to 101 degrees and I have no air conditioning, or I'd rather not go for a walk because there's nothing to look at but dirt...I am longing to find beauty to find the treasure that is here, it's like in my heart I know it's here but I can't see it with my eyes...
Ok, now I'm just thinking out loud, or out blogg?...but be sure there will be more to come.
I have lived, yes there have been times where I have use my escape mechanisms but for the majority of my life, it has been lived and I am so thankful for the experiences I have had to this day to make me the woman I am now and I don't want to stop, I am not content, and I hope that I never will be. We were meant to want more, more than this life has to offer. But while we are here, I want to fully enjoy the beauty and wonder that God has has created and provided for our enjoyment/use. I may live in a town currently that I have trouble finding beauty in but I know God has me here for a reason and I have been seeking since I got here to find beauty to be able to appreciate being here, and while I appreciate the things that come with living here, family, friends, In-n-out...I still get cranky when it gets to 101 degrees and I have no air conditioning, or I'd rather not go for a walk because there's nothing to look at but dirt...I am longing to find beauty to find the treasure that is here, it's like in my heart I know it's here but I can't see it with my eyes...
Ok, now I'm just thinking out loud, or out blogg?...but be sure there will be more to come.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Praises
So I just felt I needed to blog all that's been happening lately because it's been crazy, but crazy good:).
First, Alex convinced me to audition for American Idol which I have been against since they started. I remember my first college roommate was the first one to nag me about audition and I told her I would never do that. From then on the answer was the same, my reasons I thought were pretty good. #1 I'm not a pop singer, I've always leaned more towards gospel, worship and old jazzy stuff. #2 I never thought I really had the performer gene, it must have skipped a generation cause I'm pretty sure Ali's got it;). #3 I told God along time ago that I was going to only use my voice for him since it was him who gifted me with it. #4 I didn't think I could handle that kind of rejection.
But I was praying about it and couldn't stop thinking about it even though I gave Alex a firm no. I thought, who am I to tell God how he can use me, if God wants to use me in this sort of venue than I want to be open. Obviously I was right and this is not the venue he wants to use me in which I am very grateful for. I mean I think everyone at one point in their life has imagined what it would be like to see their name in lights but that lifestyle is not for me. And one of the main positives that came out of this is that I was able to give over 1 more thing to God that I was controlling (or trying to). Also, I was praying pretty much the whole audition and my prayer was Proverbs 16:3, "Commit whatever you do to the Lord and you will succeed." But I also prayed that if succeed for me meant not making American Idol then I would be ok with that. When it came my turn to sing for the producer I had more energy than I could have mustered myself and more confidence than I ever have and sang my absolute best and the best part is I had fun singing to this woman in front of all these other people and when I heard the word "no" come from her mouth I had complete peace because I knew that Jesus was right there with me guiding my step, my mouth, my words and it felt good.
The other really awesome part about this experience was realizing how much my husband loves me. He pushed me to do something that I love doing more than anything else and he sacrificed time to do it with me. He spent hours practicing with me while I exercised my mean voice teacher techniques on him and he drove down on Sunday to Pasadena with me to stand in line for 5 hours just to get a wristband and took a whole day off work today and woke up at 2:45am to go stand in line for another 2 hours and sit in some bleachers for another 2 hours in the sweltering heat because he loves me and wants me to do what I love. That is such a wonderful thing that I just want to stick in my heart and lock it up to take out whenever I'm feeling down. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband who loves me so much.
Next, my friends. All of you who also supported me, no matter that I didn't make you all were so positive and uplifting and encouraging and it meant the world to me. Thank you all:).
And just to top it off our tax return arrived today just in time we were about to be overdrawn...Thank you Jesus! You are soooo good!
First, Alex convinced me to audition for American Idol which I have been against since they started. I remember my first college roommate was the first one to nag me about audition and I told her I would never do that. From then on the answer was the same, my reasons I thought were pretty good. #1 I'm not a pop singer, I've always leaned more towards gospel, worship and old jazzy stuff. #2 I never thought I really had the performer gene, it must have skipped a generation cause I'm pretty sure Ali's got it;). #3 I told God along time ago that I was going to only use my voice for him since it was him who gifted me with it. #4 I didn't think I could handle that kind of rejection.
But I was praying about it and couldn't stop thinking about it even though I gave Alex a firm no. I thought, who am I to tell God how he can use me, if God wants to use me in this sort of venue than I want to be open. Obviously I was right and this is not the venue he wants to use me in which I am very grateful for. I mean I think everyone at one point in their life has imagined what it would be like to see their name in lights but that lifestyle is not for me. And one of the main positives that came out of this is that I was able to give over 1 more thing to God that I was controlling (or trying to). Also, I was praying pretty much the whole audition and my prayer was Proverbs 16:3, "Commit whatever you do to the Lord and you will succeed." But I also prayed that if succeed for me meant not making American Idol then I would be ok with that. When it came my turn to sing for the producer I had more energy than I could have mustered myself and more confidence than I ever have and sang my absolute best and the best part is I had fun singing to this woman in front of all these other people and when I heard the word "no" come from her mouth I had complete peace because I knew that Jesus was right there with me guiding my step, my mouth, my words and it felt good.
The other really awesome part about this experience was realizing how much my husband loves me. He pushed me to do something that I love doing more than anything else and he sacrificed time to do it with me. He spent hours practicing with me while I exercised my mean voice teacher techniques on him and he drove down on Sunday to Pasadena with me to stand in line for 5 hours just to get a wristband and took a whole day off work today and woke up at 2:45am to go stand in line for another 2 hours and sit in some bleachers for another 2 hours in the sweltering heat because he loves me and wants me to do what I love. That is such a wonderful thing that I just want to stick in my heart and lock it up to take out whenever I'm feeling down. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband who loves me so much.
Next, my friends. All of you who also supported me, no matter that I didn't make you all were so positive and uplifting and encouraging and it meant the world to me. Thank you all:).
And just to top it off our tax return arrived today just in time we were about to be overdrawn...Thank you Jesus! You are soooo good!
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